Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Well, I feel like making this post a lengthy one. But I don't know what to type. Lemme think k. Yeap, I'm at home now. Like freaking early right. Yea I know, cuz the rest wanna go back and I don't know who else to find already. Gonna go to my grandparents' house later for the reunion dinner, yea. But now, sibeh sian sial. Shouldn't have come back so early and waste my damn time facing facebook, msn and youtube. Maybe I should view blogs, search for songs and watch my show online after this post. Every time when I'm quiet and thinking of what to type, I'll just think of you. Like what the hell. Though I tell others that I've given up, but I did not. My brain tells me to, but my heart just refused to. When will I finally be really happy sial? Sighs, idk .. My heart hurts the most when ily so much and you don't even give a shit. k, idk if you care or not. But to me, I don't think so. Right? Maybe you care, just that I can't see through. Is it? Or maybe you don't care. Yea, that's what I think. Hey, I really regretted what I did 3 months ago. I should have just said "I do", but I didn't. Sad case huh? I know. I regretted, seriously. Each time you talk to me, I'm so happy. Even when you walk past me and smile, I'm also happy. I smiled back. I really wanna let go, but it's so hard :( Can someone tell me what to do? Dilemma :( Though we're like friends now, but I feel so weird being your friend only, you know? Yea you don't. I don't know what are you thinking. But I wanna know. Please tell me your thoughts. I wanna know so freaking badly sial. All the pains I'm going through now, it's because of you. My sorrows and sadness, it's because of you also. This is killing me man. But no matter how many obstacles I've to go through, I promise I'll overcome them without any regrets. Even if it's hard, I will try my best. With you around, I'll have motivations. Yea, indeed I have the courage to face you now unlike last time. What I know now is, I will overcome all the obstacles by MYSELF. I don't want any helps, cuz I just wanna prove myself. I want you to know how much I've gone through for the past weeeeeks. Maybe you're happy now, i'm not. As long as you're happy, I'm fine with anything. Just promise me to live your life to the fullest okay? I'll be there for you 24/7. Anything, anytime, text me if you want. I'll be waiting for any vibration from my phone. Promise me you won't be sad if you know that I'm suffering now. Promise me you won't wear yourself out after a long day. If you're bored, feel free to text me. If you're sad, I'll be your listening ear. If you feel like crying, I will be your shoulders. I'll wipe away your tears. Whatever it is, you can give me a text anytime. I know I shouldn't be crying, but I can't control. Damn hard I swear. That feeling sucks to the max. Tiong xim forever. My heart's reserved. I'll reject every other guys who want to step into my life. I love you so much.
